The Asymmetrical Goldfish
by mylifeischeese
Summary: Kid gets a present for his birthday from his father, but it's the most asymmetrical thing Kid has ever seen. To not hurt his father's feelings, Kid has to put up with it, but how long will he last? Complete!
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** **Kid gets a present for his birthday from his father, but it's the most asymmetrical thing Kid has ever seen. To not hurt his father's feelings, Kid has to put up with it, but how long will he last?**

 **A/N: I got this idea from a soul eater prompt, but I can't refind it. I don't own soul eater or any of its characters. Hopefully they're in character, I've never written a soul eater fanfiction before. Constructive criticism is welcomed. Also, I love reveiws, but you don't have to if you don't want to.**

"Father, why did you call me here?" Kid asked. He was in the mirror room with Lord Death and Spirit.

"As you know, sixteen years ago today is when I used a part of my soul to create you," Lord Death said. "So today is your birthday!"

"Since when did you celebrate birthdays?" Kid asked.

"Since I told him how happy it made Maka before she hated me," Spirit said.

"Of course," Kid mumbled under his breath.

"Anyways, along with birthdays comes presents!" Lord Death exclaimed excitedly.

"Honestly Father, I don't need a special day just to get a present," Kid said.

"Oh, but Kiddo, I know you'll absolutely love this! I did research for three months to come up with the perfect gift for you. Then it took five months to actually get it," Lord Death explained.

"It took you eight months to get me a present?" Kid asked skeptically.

"It actually did," Spirit confirmed. That grabbed Kid's attention. Spirit probably won't of agreed unless Lord Death really did spent that long getting the most perfect gift.

"I sent army after army," Lord Death continued, "They all came back empty handed. I was about to give up, but I knew how much you would love the present! The image of your smiling face gave me endless hope! I know we've been drifting apart lately, with you always hanging out with your friends and all, but I know that this present will prove that I know my son better than anyone. It will show my everlasting love for you!"

Kid was genuinely excited for what his father was going to give him. He had no idea what it might be, but then again Kid used to not know what a skateboard was until his dad gave him a flying one, which is now one of his favorite things, so Lord Death's present might be even better. "What did you get me?" He asked, not really hiding his anticipation and excitement.

"I got you…" Lord Death said dramatically. He turned around, towards the mirror, then turned back with a glass bowl in his giant white hands. "THIS!"

Inside the bowl was a beautiful fish with thousands of scales all shining. It was mostly gold colored but had silvery spots randomly flaked all over. On the right side, the silver spots were much bigger than on the left, but besides that, no spot size was defined. They all varied. The fish also had a black diagonal stripe going across its back. It started on the left side, very thin and close to the middle, then moved to the right gaining thickness with no consistency and it wrapped around to a little over halfway through the fish's right side. The right eye of the fish was pure blue with a scratch going down slightly off the middle while the second eye was green with brown spots. The left fin was also substantially larger than the right and seemed to have a different shape from the right as well.

Kid looked at the fish in awe. Not a single molecule on the animal was symmetrical.

"Wow, look how amazed he is!" Spirit said.

"Indeed," Lord Death replied to his death scythe. "And Kid, with this fish, I wish you the happiest of birthdays! It will show my undying love for my little Kiddo!" Lord Death plopped the glass in Kid's hands.

Kid stopped looking at the fish in horror and disgust. He looked up at his father and could tell how proud he was of his gift and how much he loved him even through the mask. Kid put on the most forced smile he's ever made in his life. "Thank you, Dad. I love it," Kid lied, trying his best to sound happy and genuine, but failing miserably.

Lord Death didn't seem to notice. "I love you too Kiddo! Take good care of it now, and I bet your little weapon partners would absolutely love to see it too!"

Kid looked back down at the gift and gagged at the pure asymmetry that it embodied. He looked back at Lord Death and fake smiled again. "Yep. I'll show them right now," Kid said, quite obviously about to throw up at the sight of the fish. Still, Lord Death and Spirit seemed oblivious.

"I'm so glad you like it!" Lord Death beamed.

"Yes. It is," Kid shuttered at the pure lie he was about to spew, "truly beautiful. Now if you excuse me, Liz and Patty shouldn't be left without seeing this… thing… much longer. Thank you, Father, and good bye."

"Bye bye Kiddo!" Lord Death called out as Kid trudged out of the room, sickened by the sheer sight of the creature devoid of all symmetry.

After they were certain that Kid was a good distance away, Spirit's smile disappeared and he turned to Lord Death. "Don't you think it's a bit much?" he asked.

"No," Lord Death said. "If anything it's not enough. He has to get over this silly obsession sooner or later, and I prefer sooner. Once he takes my place as Lord Death, he can't be foiled by toilet paper that he didn't fold correctly."

"Well, yeah, but lying to him?"

"It's for his own good Spirit."

~~~~~~~~~~~0~~~~~~~~~~~

Kid was flying on his skateboard as fast as he could without losing any water from the bowl. The bowl itself was perfectly symmetrical, which made the creature inside even more insulting. It even being in Kid's hands made him feel dirty and even worse garbage than he usually felt. Staring at the fish, he got reminded of his asymmetrically unfinished lines of Sanzu, but he didn't care. The horrendous disgrace to existence made everything else seem perfect in comparison.

By the time he arrived at the mansion, he was basically hyperventilating. Kid put the fish on the floor next to him, happy to get it out of his grasps, then opened the door. Inside, Liz and Patty were sitting on two chairs, one reading a magazine, the other coloring a picture horribly. They both looked up at the sound of the door opening. Kid was paler than usual, which made his skin almost pure white, and the weapons could feel the distress in his soul.

"Are you okay?" Liz asked.

"I hate birthdays," Kid said. They could hear that he was probably on the verge of a panic attack.

Patty started laughing as Liz sighed and put her magazine down.

She walked over to Kid. "What is it?" Kid pointed at the bowl without looking at it. Liz looked at it in disappointment then looked back at her meister. "A fish?"

"Liz, you don't understand! The asymmetry!" Kid yelled. He looked like he was going to cry.

"Here we go again~," Patty said sing-songy. She was still coloring the picture horribly.

"If you hate it so much, why don't you get rid of it?" Liz asked. She was getting annoyed at her meister's neurotic tendencies.

"Father would be so heart broken if I do. He was so happy to give it to me," Kid mumbled.

"Guess we just have to wait for it to die," Patty said.

"How long is its lifespan?" Liz asked. She wanted to know how long Kid would complain about it for.

"I don't know," Kid whimpered.

Patty was suddenly next to them. "We should ask Lord Death," She said and gave a mirror to her sister.

"Um, thanks," Liz said, but the fish caught Patty's eyes. She ran over and started staring at it intensely with a wide smile and wider eyes.

"Soooooooooooooo shiny," Patty said.

Liz rolled her eyes and breathed hot air on the mirror, fogging it up. She wrote 42-42-564 on the fog and Lord Death's face appeared. "Did Kid show you his present?" he immediately asked.

"Um, yeah. He really h-" Liz was saying but Kid was frantically shaking his head 'no' then put his shaking hands into a heart shape. "He really loves it," Liz corrected.

"I know! It's great, isn't it?" Lord Death beamed.

"Yup. Anyways, we were wondering how long it's life span is. Patty has never dealt with her animals dying before, so I want to know when I have to tell her," Liz lied.

"Oh, well it's a symbol of my undying love for Kiddo, so it's completely immortal," Lord Death said.

"No," Kid screamed, but then quickly bit his tongue. Lord Death seemed not to hear him.

"Oh, it is?" Liz asked. She actually kind of dreaded that. An eternity of Kid's complaining was not very ideal.

"Indeed. That's why it took so long to get. It doesn't even need water, it just prefers it because it can move," Lord Death explained.

"That's lovely," Liz said sarcastically.

"Isn't it?" Lord Death said cheerfully. "I have to go, tell Kiddo I said 'Hi'. And by the way, I think it would look the absolute best in the front room." Then Lord Death hung up.

"Immortal asymmetry," Kid mumbled as tears rolled down his face.

"Don't be so dramatic Kid. Look at how shiny it is!" Patty exclaimed and ran inside with the fish.

"I hate my life," Kid mumbled quieter than before.

"I hate my life too," Liz mumbled too and dragged Kid inside their house.


	2. Chapter 2

Kid was pacing around like a crazy person as Patty made funny faces at the fish.

"Kid, calm down. It's just a fish," Liz said.

"I can't calm down as long as that disgrace is living on this Earth!" Kid said.

"Simple, then we send Mr. Shimmers to another Earth," Patty said.

"I don't think we can do that, Patty," Liz said.

"No, we need to kill that thing," Kid said.

"But it's immortal," Patty said.

"I think I found a way around this. Just give the stupid fish back to your father!" Liz suggested.

"You know that's not an option either. Instead, we'll find a way to kill it. I'm a grim reaper, it can't be that hard."

* * *

"Let's try death canon again," Kid suggested. He was in the middle of the nearby dessert with Liz and Patty in weapon form.

"Kid, I don't think your soul can take another death cannon," Liz said.

"But I haven't even made a dent in it!" Kid complained.

"You did make a dent in the dessert though," Patty said. She was right; from the multiple death canons, there was a humongous crater in front of the three of them with Mr. Shimmers flopping around slightly left of the exact middle of it unhurt.

"Yeah, you're probably going to break through the earth's crust if you shoot at it again," Liz said.

"How else am I supposed to kill this thing?"

"It's immortal you idiot! You can't kill it! But you can give it up, so why don't cha!?" Liz complained.

"You're trying to kill it anyway," Patty said.

"If I give it up willingly, Father would be devastated, but if I kill it, I can tell him that he got lied too and that would be that. So, we have to kill it!"

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Liz said.

"Why don't we flush Mr. Shimmers and just say he died?" Patty asked.

"Patty, that's genius!" Kid exclaimed.

"Maybe you would have thought of it if you weren't so trigger-happy," Liz remarked. Kid ignored her and jumped into the crater. He slid down the sand walls, grabbed the fish, then flew out on his skateboard.

* * *

"There, the fish is gone. Happy?" Liz asked Kid.

"It still bugs me that a disgrace like that still lives, but it is a lot better to have it nowhere near me. We just need to tell Father that the legend was a lie so it died after I had it out of the water for too long, and we flushed it down the toilet."

"Sounds easy enough," Liz said.

"I kinda miss Mr. Shimmers. He was fun for having staring contests with," Patty pouted.

"Now that I think about it, I don't think I ever saw him blink," Liz said.

"Fishes don't have eyelids, so they can't blink," Kid informed as he was trying to write on the bathroom mirror. The fog from his breath kept evaporating before he could get the first 4 to his liking.

Liz got super disgusted. "You mean that all fish never blink? That's so creepy! Why would anybody want something like that for a pet!?"

"I never understood the appeal of pets in the first place, they just are extra work and do nothing but make messes," Kid said. Patty was writing 42-42-564 on the mirror now because Kid gave up. There wasn't enough room indoors for Kid to talk to him without the mirror. Lord Death appeared on the mirror.

"Wassup?" he asked.

"Father, I have terrible news regarding the present you gave me today," Kid said.

"Getting flushed down the toilet alive is pretty terrible news. Don't worry, we'll have your beloved pet back to you shortly," Lord Death said. His voice was as happy and bubbly as always.

Kid and Liz's jaws dropped. "How did you possibly know that?" Liz asked.

"It was an accident, I swear, I love my present," Kid said frantically at the same time that Liz was talking.

Lord Death snickers. "I know it was an accident, why would my little kiddo flush away a symbol of our love on purpose?" He asked. Kid looked at the floor in guilt as his father continued. "As for how I know, I put a tracking device in the present, so I got informed that it was going through the sewers. I also know you that you took it out to the desert. Did you four have fun playing together in the sand?"

Patty smiled. "It actually was pretty fun. We made a crater."

"Well, I'm glad you're liking your new pet Kiddo. I have to go now, but spirit should bring your fish back to you shortly. Bye~!" Lord Death said in a voice more happy than usual.

"Bye," Kid mumbled. Lord Death's image faded away. "I'm such a pathetic excuse for a son. For a shinigami. I should flush myself because all I am is worthless trash that doesn't deserve love." Kid started mumbling to himself as he trembled.

Liz sighed. "It hasn't even been a full day yet, but this fish is really starting to piss me off."

"Do you think Lord Death knows that he's making Kid sad?" Patty asked.  
"Of course not, why would he purposely do that to us? He's probably just in denial about Kid rejecting his present."

"He doesn't want to see his own flesh and blood being such an unloving useless garbage that he just ignores it… Why am I so terrible? I should just die," Kid mumbled.

"Come on Kid, your dad's just a bit observant right now. You're not garbage," Liz said.

Kid looked at his older weapon. "You really think so?" He asked.

"Of course. Now just don't let a fish rule your life. We'll find a way to get rid of it without hurting your dad's feelings soon enough."

"Right, let's think of all the ways we can do that while we wait for that asymmetrical garbage to comeback," Kid said smiling.

"Yay! We get to try and kill Mr. Shimmers again!" Patty rejoiced and bounced off. Kid and Liz followed her.

* * *

"Kid really isn't taking this well, Sir. I think you should tell him you hate the thing too," Spirit said.

Lord Death shook his head. "Spirit, we stop the ruse now, not only would Kid still be as obsessed with symmetry as ever, he'd hate me too."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before manipulating him," Spirit said. "You know, all those hours they spent in the desert? Well, they were frantically using Death Cannon on it. You should just see the crater they left. It can't be good for his soul."

"Well, neither is an out of control symmetry obsession. What if it was Maka instead and this was the only way she could finally not be held back from reaching her full potential? Would you do something different?" Spirit didn't answer. "Exactly. Now stop worrying about it and give Kid his fish back."

"Yes, sir."

 **A/N: Sorry this took so long to update. I'm glad you like it and I love the reviews.**


	3. Chapter 3

There was a knock on Black Star and Tsubaki's door as they were starting to eat dinner. "Who could that be?" Tsubaki asked. She got up and started heading towards the door.

"Probably an adoring fan that wants my autograph! Or maybe Soul's returning the record I let him borrow," Black Star suggested.

Tsubaki smiled at her meister then opened the door. "Oh, Kid. What brings you here?"

Kid opened his mouth to say sounding, but Patty stepped in front of him before he did. "We need Black Star to use his soul wavelength on Mr. Shimmers!" She said happily. She lifted the flailing fish in her fist so that it was in front of Tsubaki's face. Both Kid and Liz took a step away from Patty and the fish.

"Umm...W-why?" Tsubaki asked. She was at a loss for words.

"It's immortal, but it needs to be gruesomely murdered," Kid said.

Tsubaki looked confused. "A fish can become a kishin?"

"Who cares, I hear you need the mighty help of Black Star!" Black Star interjected. "I guess I really am surpassing a god."

"Don't be too proud of yourself. Right now a fish is on the list of things that are surpassing this 'god'," Liz said putting air quotes around god.

"Hey, you don't like that vile creature either!" Kid complained.

"I don't like it because it's slimy, gross, and doesn't blink. That's totally different from why you don't like it," Liz said back.

"Asymmetry is a completely valid reason to despise something."

"Sure it is."

"Yeah, yeah, enough chit-chat. I'll take care of this fish for you Kid, no problem. I'll even let you get the soul," Black Star said and gave a thumbs up to his friend.

Kid smiled. "Thank you. And if it's all the same, can I stay out here while you kill it? I'd like to stay as far away from it as possible."

"Me too," Liz added.

"Sure, but you'll be missing a great show," Black Star said.

"No doubt," Kid said. He didn't have much faith in Black Star, but it was worth a try.

"I'll watch!" Patty said happily and walked into the assassin's apartment.

Tsubaki closed the door and joined Liz and Kid in the hall. "I hope you don't mind me joining you," She said sweetly.

"Not at all," Kid said.

"Anything's better company than that stupid fish," Liz added.

"Speaking of which, where did you get the fish anyway?" Tsubaki asked.

"Today is my birthday, so that's the present that Father gave me. It's the worst thing on this planet and deserves to be obliterated, but it's immoral," Kid explained.

"We tried everything to kill it, but as you saw, it's not dead, so we thought we'd give Black Star's soul wavelength a try on it," Liz continued.

Tsubaki was waiting for them to be finished talking before she said something, but she was completely shocked. "Today's your birthday!?"

"Yeah, but it's not a big deal. I've actually never celebrated it until today, and I never want to celebrate it again."

"I'm sorry your birthday isn't going very well," Tsubaki said.

"Hey, don't feel sorry. It's not your fault," Liz said.

Suddenly, they heard Black Star yelling at the top of his lungs "What the hell's wrong with you!? JUST DIE ALREADY!"

Kid and Liz sighed.

"Sounds like it didn't work," Kid said.

"Yep," Liz unenthusiastically agreed.

Tsubaki couldn't help but feel really bad. It was Kid's birthday, and he was pretty miserable. "Can me and Black Star keep the fish for a while? Knowing Black Star, he won't give up on killing it. You can just leave it with us and you can enjoy your birthday," she said with a big smile.

Kid smiled. "Well, if it really is no trouble…"

"Thank you Tsubaki sooo much! You don't know how long this day has been!" Liz said, obviously relieved.

"It's really no problem. Happy Birthday Kid," Tsubaki said, "And feel free to come to us if you ever need anything." She went back into her apartment, and Patty came out.

"Black Star isn't going to kill Mr. Shimmers," She said, "But it was a pretty show." The three of them started walking out of the building. After a while, Patty asked "Do you think Lord Death will get all depressed if he knows that Mr. Shimmers is staying with Black Star instead of us? You know, because of the tracking device."

"I hope not," Kid mumbled.

"No way, we can just say that we excited showed our friends and Black Star took a liking to it. Then we say something sappy, like 'it resembles love so we couldn't just refuse to give it to a friend' and he'll eat it right up," Liz said.

Kid sighed. "I don't like lying to my Father like this," he said under his breath.

"Then tell him you hate the fish," Liz said.

"No, that's infinitely worse!"

Liz shook her head. "You're impossible, you know that?"

"Well, at least we got rid of Mr. Shimmers for the night," Patty said. Kid and Liz nodded in agreement.

* * *

It was about eleven at night, the moon shone high in the sky and was laughing quietly. All three of Gallows Mansion's residents were sound asleep until something woke Kid up. He sat up in his bed, not knowing why he'd woken up, but his soul perception was telling him something was wrong. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw it. Kid turned his head and stared at it. On the hight stand to the right of his bed was none other than Mr. Shimmers swimming happily in a bowl, a different bowl from before, and not with as much of a scratch on him. Not only that, but he was on the right side of Kid's bed, ruining the symmetry of his whole room.

A note was placed in front of the bowl, which Kid picked up and read.

'Hey Kiddo,' it said in Lord Death's handwriting, 'I don't know why you left your lovely present at your friend's house, but I decided to return it to you. I hope you're okay. First, you accidentally flush it, then you accidentally leave it at your friends. You're probably just a little out of it because of how excited you are about your gift. I know you would love it, I really did everything in my power to make it the best gift in the world. I love you Kiddo! Happy birthday! -Death'

Tears formed in Kid's eyes as he read. "Why do I have to be such an ungrateful child. I don't deserve a father like him. I deserve to shrivelin a hole and die unloved. I'm garbage."

* * *

'I deserve to shrivel in a hole and die unloved. I'm garbage.' Kid's voice said as it came out of Lord Death's mirror. He was watching Kid through the reflective glass of the fishes new tank.

Lord Death sighed. "Oh Kiddo, I don't deserve a son like you. You're willing to put up with such pain just for my sake… Don't worry, once this whole thing is done, you won't be so stressed about symmetry anymore. You'll be better than your dad at running this whole place. Just a little while longer, Kiddo…"

 **A/N: Well that came out a lot faster than last time. I hope you liked this chapter. Review your thoughts. I'd love to read them.**


	4. Chapter 4

Liz was eating french toast while Patty devoured chocolate chip pancakes when Kid came down the mansion's stairs. He was holding Mr. Shimmers with only two fingers and had it as far away from him as possible. "Liz, Patty. We need a plan that's completely foolproof. I don't know how much longer I can handle this thing," Kid said as he put the fish on the counter.

Liz groaned. "When did it even get back here?"

"Yesterday at 11:06. Father dropped it off with a new tank and a note."

"What did the note say?" Liz asked

At the same time, Patty asked: "Can I have the new tank too?"

"Yes, you can have the tank. The monstrosity isn't worthy of easy movement. As for the note, Father is starting to somewhat suspect something, and finding out that I'm trying to kill it will completely devastate him."

"Then are we still going to try and kill it?" Liz asked.

"Of course, we just need to blame it on something else, and also never leave it because of that damn tracking device on it," Kid said.

"So how are we going to kill it?" Patty asked.

"That's actually a good question. All of our strongest attacks didn't even scratch it, Black Star's soul wavelength did absolutely nothing, and Maka and Soul can't really do any more damage than we can so that's a loss cause. If all of our friends are useless, how's it supposed to die?" Liz questioned.

"Yes, all of our _friends_ were no help," Kid said, "But on the other side of the scale-"

"No," Liz said, cutting off her meister, "no, no, no, no, no. We will not go get witches and kishin eggs to get rid of a stupid fish!"

"Then what do you want to do?"

"I have an idea," Patty said. "What if it's only immortal because it wants to be? We just have to make it want to die."

"But how do we do that?" Liz asked.

"We make it think that one of his picture frames is tilted slightly to the left," Kid answered.

Liz looked at Kid. "I think we need something that more than one person finds worse than torture. And it can't be one of the DWMA's enemies either."

The three students were silent in thought for awhile while they thought of something terrible enough for the fish to utterly hate. 'Something I hate that's not symmetry related or will try to kill me, I guess something that would fall into the category would be a really annoying person, but I don't know anyone that annoying,' Kid thought, then someone popped into his mind. Just the thought of the person made Kid grimace, which caught Liz's attention.

"Thought of something?" She asked.

"Yes, but I don't think that it's worth it. What if it doesn't even work?"

"You're willing to risk your life against a witch to have a chance of getting rid of it, whoever you thought of can't be that bad."

"Who is it, anyway?" Patty asked.

Kid sighed. "Excalibur," he mumbled.

* * *

"You know, we probably don't need this holy sword. Maybe just living will torture it enough," Liz complained as she trudged through water with Kid on her shoulders holding an umbrella. Patty was ahead of them splashing around with the fish in her pocket and a backpack on her back.

"Trust me, Excalibur is much more annoying than I could ever be."

"Well, you and that stupid fish make quite the dream team. Excalibur will at least have a run for his money."

"Don't underestimate Excalibur," Kid said.

"Hey look! It's a sword!" Patty exclaimed. She ran up to it.

Liz and Kid weren't far behind, and Kid got off his weapon's shoulders. "So, how does it work?" Liz asked.

Kid, obviously not happy about it, said "Hey, Excalibur, my weapon's and I want to hear about your origin."

The sword glowed enormously bright and made a silhouette of wings out of light. The three students had to shield their eyes from the light. When they reopened their eyes Excalibur was in his white humanoid-like form and was pointing his cane at Kid. "Fool!" he said, "It's not an origin, it's a legend! It stems back twelve centuries!"

Patty was laughing uncontrollably at the sight of the legendary weapon's 'human' form. Liz was snickering too. "Wait, so he actually looks like that?" the elder sister asked.

"Yes," Kid said as he pushed the cane out of the way.

Excalibur put his cane back in front of Kid's face. "Fools! Say your favorite color!" he said.

"Blue is a pretty cool color," Liz said.

"I like yellow, like giraffes!" Patty said when she finally stopped laughing.

Kid didn't answer, he knew what was coming. "Fools! My legend dates back to the twelfth century!" Excalibur exclaimed.

"What? What does that have to do with colors!?" Liz asked.

"Fool! It all started on a Tuesday," Excalibur started saying.

Kid started grabbing three pairs of noise-canceling headphones out of the backpack Patty was wearing and handed two of them to both his weapons. They knew exactly what they were for, so they put them on and Patty took Mr. Shimmers out of her pocket and put him on the floor in front of the holy sword.

"I was drinking tea," Excalibur monologued **(you don't have to read this)** , "it was cloudy out. No, it was rainy. It's always raining on Wednesday. I remember getting water in my coffee. Or was it tea? My legend is twelve centuries old. I was sitting there with the sun beating down on me, and I looked at this boy. Arthur, I think. It was a Sunday, and I had just gotten out of bed. This Arthur boy looked at me. Do you know why I wear this hat?" Mr. Shimmers didn't answer since he's a fish. "I wear this hat because the taller the hat, the better the chef. So Arthur was standing there. Saturday, what a day for a visit. It was high noon. Arthur and I were drinking coconut juice. Have you ever tried coconut juice?" Mr. Shimmers flopped. "Fool! Anyway, Arthur was just made king. And that brings us to prevision 387 of my thousand previsions you must follow. Wait, are you getting me as a weapon partner?" Mr. Shimmers didn't do anything. "FOOL! Prevision 387: Never eat pizza on the sofa! The crumbs get everywhere! That brings me to another story. I was in the great war. Everywhere around me, people were falling…" Excalibur's lifeless eyes got a single tear in them. "I was at gunpoint. Then, single-handedly I killed them all in a matter of seconds." The tear was gone now. "That's when I met Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome. We switched hats. What a day that was. 1,745 years and two months later I found a penny on the floor." Excalibur stood completely still for solid minutes. He started again, "Fool! Do you want to hear my song? I wrote it just for you." He cleared his throat. "~Excalibuuuur! Excalibuuuur! Welcome to the Eternal Cave. Such a lovely place (such a lovely place). Such a lovely Excalibur! Plenty of power, Excalibur. Any time of year (any time of year) you can find him here, Excalibur. Excalibuuuur! Excalibuuuur!~" he sang. **(you can start reading again)**

* * *

Four hours have passed and Kid was writing a report they were assigned to do, and also writing Liz and Patty's for them because they weren't perfect enough. Liz was sleeping and Patty was playing with the fairies out of earshot from Excalibur, who was still rambling on and on about himself. Mr. Shimmers wasn't flopping anymore, or doing anything, so Excalibur walked over to Kid and took his headphones off with his cane. "Hey, what are y-" Kid started to say.

"Fool!" Excalibur yelled. Kid groaned, remembering why he was wearing noise-canceling headphones. "I wanted to inform you that your fish has stopped listening to my stories."

"Wait, what?" Kid asked and looked at the fish lying still on the floor. "I-is he dead?" Excalibur stared blankly at Kid as a big smile spread across his face. "YES! This is perfect! I can tell father the truth and it'll all be fine! I just say it died of boredom while I was doing a report on Excalibur and nothing can be disproven, so he won't be miserable because of me, and I'd be rid of that thing forever! My life will be rid of asymmetrical scum! Everyone wins! This is absolutely perf-"

Kid completely froze as Excalibur poked Mr. Shimmers, making the fish start flailing around wildly, undoubtedly alive. "Oh, good. You woke up. Now where was I?" Excalibur asked Mr. Shimmers. He sat in front of the fish and took a sip of his tea. "Yes, that's right. So my foot was completely stuck in there, Arthur's freaking out, the dog is having a seizure and I still got half a pie left." Excalibur took another sip of his tea, making a loud slurping noise. He made an aah sound after drinking as he put his cup back down. " Have I ever told you about the time I got sued by a bee? Well,-"

"Enough," Kid interrupted. "Excalibur, I need you to be my weapon partner." He glared at the fish, his golden eyes glowing with anger. "That thing needs to be vanquished off this earth."

"Fool! I can't be your partner unless you follow the thousand previsions."

"Okay, I'll do anything!" Kid said.

"I was in the middle of the mandatory five-hour tea party session. After we finish it, I'll be your partner until the other provisions come into play." Excalibur said.

"That doesn't sound too bad. How far were you into the tea party?"

"Oh, let me think… one and a half minutes."

KId's eye started twitching "Then how the hell are you in the middle of it!? You barely started!" He yelled.

"Fool! It's an expression!"

KId sighed reluctantly. "O-okay. I'll still do it." He sat down in front of Excalibur and was handed a teacup.

"Good. Now, onto my story of saving my dog. It all started when I killed a witch by landing my house on her. I stole her shoes and another witch came out of a pink bubble," Excalibur started saying.

* * *

"And so I had a fiddle off with the devil himself and won. He gave me a golden fiddle. That's how I saved all of China from cross-dressing and the evil of Huns." Excalibur said. He took a loud slurp of his tea and put it back down. "Okay, the tea party is done. I shall be your weapon partner now!"

It was five hours later, and Kid was literally bored to tears at that point. Liz and Patty both left because they were hungry about a half an hour after Kid started listening to the holy sword and they haven't come back since. Now that it was over, Kid was a little surprised. "I can't believe how long five measly hours feel with you around," he mumbled. Excalibur didn't hear him and transformed into a weapon then went into Kid's hand. Kid grabbed him with both hands. "Right, let's get this over with. The sooner I leave, the better!" He said and looked at Mr. Shimmers. "It's your time to end!" He said and charged at it. Kid swung mercilessly at the fish, but nothing happened. Kid looked at the unharmed fish. "I did not sit through the five-hour boring fest for nothing! You will be ridden off this earth! Excalibur… Soul resonance."

Excalibur didn't say anything, but a white light shown off of Kid. It had three stripes of extra light wrapping around the left side while symmetrical white winds sprouted out. Kid could feel his soul wavelength amplifying as he held the white sword. Such a powerful meister mixing with an even more powerful weapon.

Excalibur tripled in size, and with his white wings Kid flew up high above the cave. "ROYAL SMASHING!" Kid and Excalibur yelled in unison. They started falling at full speed towards the cave. Less than a millisecond before they hit the ground, Kid swung Excalibur faster than the speed of light right on top of the fish. The entire cave exploded and got completely destroyed around them. The once cliff side was now lower than sea level.

Kid jumped out of the ashes that were once a cave and mountainside. "This might be hard to pull off as an accident, but at least it's gone," Kid said he was out of breath from using such a strong soul resonance.

Mr. Shimmers flopped out of the ash, still completely unharmed.

Kid's jaw dropped. "WHAT! HOW IS IT STILL ALIVE!?" he yelled.

"Fool!" Excalibur said, his face appearing in his sword's reflection, "You can't kill that fish. It's the legendary immortal fish that dates back even before me. Nothing can get even close to killing it."

"Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"I thought you knew."

Kid shoved the holy sword into the ash, disowning him as his weapon. "No, no, no, no, no…" Kid mumbled. He was trembling with madness. "No, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no," he started saying faster and went to the floor and curled up in a ball. "No, this all can't be for nothing. It has to die. The asymmetry…"

* * *

The moon was laughing above them as Spirit, Liz, and Patty walked up to Kid. He was still curled up in a ball trembling and muttering "No" in the pile of ash that used to be the Eternal cave with Mr. Shimmers flopping next to him.

"Hey, could you tell Lord Death that Kid hates that stupid fish with a burning passion? I swear he will die before giving up on getting rid of that thing or before telling his dad," Liz said.

"Yeah, I'll be sure to mention it," Spirit mumbled.

"Okay, good. Also take that damn fish back to wherever you found it," Liz said as her and Patty picked up Kid. They started walking back to Death City.

Spirit continued to stand in the ash in front of Excalibur. "So, what do you think I should do? Save Kid, or listen to Lord Death?" Spirit asked the holy sword.

"Fool," Excalibur said, "You should listen to my legend. It dates back twelve centuries."

Spirit groaned at the swords annoyingness. "Never mind," he mumbled and started walking back to death city.

 **A/N: Review your thoughts on this chapter. And thank you for following and favoriting. only one or two chapters left**


	5. Chapter 5

Kid walked down the stars of Gallows mansion to where Liz and Patty were. It was the next day.

"Are you done having a mental breakdown?" Liz asked.

"Where's the fish?" Kid asked instead of answering Liz's question.

"We left him with Excalibur," Patty said.

"We also told Spirit to tell Lord Death that you hate it, so it shouldn't be a problem anymore," Liz said.

"So Father knows that I've been lying to him?"

"He would have figured out eventually. Four assassination attempts in two days is a pretty unsubtle clue," Liz said.

"Five assassination attempts if you count using Excalibur for boredom and actually using him as a weapon as two different tries," Patty added.

"You're probably right. Anyway, we shouldn't let Father despise me any more than needed so we should probably start heading to school."

"Wow, we're not going to be late for once? That's new," Liz said. "But don't you need to check the house for symmetry first?" She knew she was tempting fate, but she'd rather be late to school like always than leave school early because a candle might not have burned correctly.

"No, the symmetry was fine yesterday, and we were gone all day, so I'm sure it's fine today," Kid said he started heading for the door. Liz and Patty exchanged looks.

"Are you coming or not?" Kid asked as he stood by the door. The weapons looked back at their meister and followed him out of the house and to the school.

* * *

Kid, Liz and Patty walked into their classroom. A couple kids were already there, like Maka and Soul, but not many. Dr. Stein locked eyes with Kid as he walked into the room. "Kid," he said. "What's the secret?"

Kid stopped walking in confusion. "What's the secret to what?" he asked.

"I've been trying to cut your fish open for hours, but nothing is penetrating its scales," Dr. Stein said.

Kid turned slightly paler than he usually is. "M-my fish?"

"Oh yeah, your dad wanted me to give this to you," Stein said and handed Kid Mr. Shimmers.

"No, I thought we finally got rid of that thing," Liz whined.

"I guess we didn't," Patty said.

Kid didn't say anything, he just stared at the fish in his hands.

"What's Kid doing?" Soul asked his meister.

"I don't know," Maka said. She closed her eyes then opened them again. "but something's different about his soul."

"What do you mean something's different?" Soul asked.

"Well, his usually well-composed soul seems to be really stressed and kind of unstable, but there's something else too. I can't describe it."

Patty waved her hand in front of Kid's face, but he did nothing.

"Is he okay?" Stein asked.

"He's never okay," Liz said.

Kid nodded his head. "Oh, yes, I see now," Kid mumbled barely audibly. "It's all Spirit's fault. He's the one who initiated the birthday. He's the one who keeps giving you back. He's the one that won't tell Father how much I hate you. He's trying to keep me occupied with you while he tries to assassinate father." Kid smiled like an insane person. "All I need to do now is eliminate the death scythe and reveal to father that his most trusted companion is filled with lies so that he'll be so shocked with that news that I could destroy the thing that shows him where you are then throw you in the desert never to be seen again. It's the perfect plan."

"Hey, hey, hey! Kid, we can't just 'eliminate' people! And Spirit is innocent! He probably didn't tell your dad that you hate the fish for the same reason you won't tell him!" Liz yelled, trying to knock some sense into her meister.

"Oh, but you see, that's just what Spirit and the fish want you to think, and I'll prove it to you!" Kid said and ran out of the room with the fish still in his hand.

"No, come back!' Liz called and started running after Kid. Patty followed her sister.

The rest of the class that was there was either completely confused or didn't care in the slightest.

"Well, that was interesting," Stein said and started twisting the screw in his head.

"Interesting is one word for it," Soul mumbled

"Soul, we should go see what's wrong," Maka said.

"Yeah," Soul agreed and the pair left the class too.

* * *

Kid was running around the maze that is the DWMA trying to find the death scythe. He was quite fast, even without his skateboard, so Liz and Patty didn't keep up very well and Maka and Soul definitely didn't. Eventually, Kid did run into Spirit. He pointed at the confused death weapon with Mr. Shimmers. "Spirit Albarn, I hereby discontinue your status as a death scythe due to treason!" Kid said. He was still smiling insanely.

"What?" Spirit asked.

"Now come with me to the cells, or I'll force you to come with me," Kid demanded.

"Kid, what are you talking about? Is this about that fish?" Spirit asked.

"Of course it's about it! You forced me to suffer through asymmetry! You even made me spend nine hours with Excalibur!"

"Nobody made you do those things but yourself," Spirit muttered.

"Nonsense, you're tricking us, and I'll prove it to you all," Kid said. He threw Mr. Shimmers behind him and attacked Spirit, but he dodged it.

"Stop it, Kid. It's a just fish," Spirit said. He was tempted more than ever to tell Kid the truth about the Mr. Shimmers but knew that it could make things even worse.

"No, it's not just a fish, it's also… um… it's evil!" Kid argued and tried to attack Spirit again. He dodged it easily. For a while, all that happened was Kid trying a variety of pretty simple attacks as Spirit dodged them all, then Liz and Patty caught up. They were both out of breath from chasing Kid around.

"Wow, Kid really sucks without us," Patty said through breaths.

"He's been better without us before," Liz said, "The way he's fighting here though, it's like he's not even trying."

"Well, yeah. Kid would never hurt someone he knows is innocent. Spirit isn't fighting either," Patty said.

Kid stopped attacking. "Fight back, you treasonous scum," Kid said. Spirit didn't say or do anything. "Fine, I'll add mutiny to your list of charges," Kid said and started trying to strike Spirit down again. Maka was holding Soul in his weapon form as they caught up to Liz and Patty.

"What's Kid doing?" Maka asked the weapon sisters.

"He went crazy and is placing the blame on Spirit," Patty said.

"I'm actually kind of surprised he lasted this long. Especially with how much he's been pushing his soul resonances," Liz said.

"Why'd Kid go crazy in the first place? We got rid of all the madness wavelengths," Soul asked.

"It's has nothing to do with the kishin, it's actually a harmless fish," Liz said.

Soul's reflection and Maka look at the Thompson sisters disappointedly. "A fish?" They ask judgingly in unison.

"Yeah, that's what I said too," Liz mumbled.

"Shut up, it's more than a fish!" Kid complained as he fought Spirit terribly.

"Oh, sorry. It's an _asymmetrical_ fish," Liz said.

"I named it Mr. Shimmers," Patty informed.

"It's not about the asymmetry anymore either," Kid said.

"Oh, enlighten us then," Liz remarked.

Kid didn't answer. A couple seconds later, 'ding dong dead dong' the school bell rang out. "There's only five minutes until class starts," Maka said quietly.

"You know you don't have to be here, right?" Liz asked.

"Yeah, your papa will be just fine," Spirit said and gave Maka a thumbs up as he dodged another attack.

Maka glared at him. "I'm only here for Kid, you know"

"R-really? You're not even here for me a little bit?" Spirit asked. As he asked, he was too distracted to dodge the next attack. Kid hit him square on the head, which left a rectangular dent on it. Spirit screamed in pain and grabbed his head. "I thought you weren't even trying!" he yelled.

Kid stopped attacking. "I never said that. I'm trying to arrest you, why would I not be trying to attack you too?"

"Well could you try a little less?! That really hurt!" Spirit complained.

"I thought you'd be used to reaper chops by now," Kid mumbled.

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!"

"Yeah, Kid will be fine. You should go to class. Besides, we need to copy the notes off someone, and Black Star wouldn't be my first choice," Liz said.

"Okay. But come get me if you ever need help," Maka said. Hesitantly, she left with Soul in her hands.

Kid glanced at Maka as she left then looked at Spirit. "Do you know what Maka's favorite thing in the world is?" he asked the death scythe.

Spirit tilted his head in confusion. "What?" He asked.

"Just answer the question."

"Um, okay. I guess books would have to be her favorite thing," Spirit answered.

"What's her favorite genre?" Kid asked.

"She used to like biographies. When she was younger I gave her a book on the lives of all the death weapons at the time and she read the whole thing that day because she loved it so much. She was so happy…" Spirit said. He smiled as he got lost in the memory.

"Hey sis, why's Kid asking questions about Maka?" Patty asked.

Liz shook her head. "Who knows," she mumbled.

"If you got Maka a book and then she threw it back at you bitterly, what would you think?" Kid asked.

"I don't know, I'd probably just be happy she didn't Maka chop me with it."

Kid sighed. "That wasn't the right answer," he muttered under his breath, then louder he asked, "What's my favorite thing?"

Spirit shrugged. "Your skateboard?"

"No, it's not an object, what's my favorite thing?"

Spirit realized what answer Kid was looking for and figured out why he was asking his about Maka. "You have an unhealthy obsession with paintings. Seriously, I never go to your house because there are thousands of them and they all have your dad's face on them! You also have a weird obsession with your dad. I know full well that his mask isn't a family crest or anything so why do you wear and own so much stuff with it on it?" Spirit asked, purposefully not answering it how Kid wanted him to.

"I said it's _not_ an object."

"Then is it a color, because you also wear way to much black and white. Every time I talk to you, if it wasn't for your eyes I would think the world lost its color. I have issues with your eye color too," Spirit complained. Kid glared at him.

"If we're complaining about Kid, there's a bigger, _much_ more glaring problem than eye color, but his fashion sense is terrible," Liz said.

"And your right, we do have too many pictures of skulls. We should get pictures of giraffes fighting," Patty suggested.

Kid moved his glare to his weapons. "You're all no help."

"You gonna find someone who is help?" Patty asked.

The young grim reaper grabbed the fish from behind him and started walking away. "Maybe I will. They'll believe me."

"Well, clearly you're not done being a complete maniac, so don't you think it'd be better if we go home instead of finding another crazy person?" Liz asked while she followed her meister. Patty followed too.

"I'm not crazy, you're crazy," Kid mumbled.

As the trio walked away, Spirit sighed. He walked towards Lord Death's mirror room.

Kid glanced back at the death weapon. 'So he is after Father,' he thought, then looked back at his weapons. 'I'll have to get rid of these non-believers first.' Kid stopped dead in his tracks.

Liz rolled her eyes. "What now?"

Kid smiled insanely again. "If you're not with me, you're against me," He mumbled and ran as fast as he could.

Patty smiled happily as Liz slouched in annoyance. "Not again," the elder sister mumbled.

"I'm gonna catch up to you this time, kay?" Patty rejoiced as she dashed after her meister. Liz reluctantly ran after him too.


	6. Chapter 6

Kid walked out of breath towards Lord Death's office. He ran around the whole school about three times to make sure his weapons wouldn't find him for a while. As he walked closer a thought dawned on him. 'How am I supposed to save Father from Spirit without any weapons?' He stood near the door and heard his father's high pitched voice, meaning he wasn't dead yet, even if he couldn't make out the words. This sent a small wave of relief over him, but it was interrupted by Spirit's muffled reply. Curious what they were talking about, Kid stealthfully went right up to the door without opening it and listened in with his sensitive grim reaper ears. He didn't have to listen for very long though.

'Lord De-' the death weapon started

'Spirit, how many times do we have to have this conversation?' Lord Death interrupted, 'Kid's keeping that stupid fish and that's final. It's actually improving his obsession and it's only been a few days. Imagine what a few months would do!'

'What about his madness of order!'

The two argued some more, but Kid stopped listening. He started walking away from the door and toward the front exit of the school. His palm lifted so he could see the fish that had been the center of his focus for the last couple of days. "So he did notice. He knew from the beginning, didn't he?" Kid asked Mr. Shimmers. The fish squirmed in reply, probably trying to get out of Kid's hand. The young shinigami gripped it again, making it immobile as he walked steadily out of the school and down the steps.

His steps took him in a mostly straight line. Down the steps, past the markets, and past the houses. Nothing broke his steady pace and blank stare at the floor until a familiar voice said "Hey, you're one of Maka's friends, aren't you?"

Kid looked over to see the witch-like black cat walking on the floor beside him. "Yeah," Kid mumbled. He looked back at the stones in front of his feet as he walked.

"Awe, you okay kid?" Blair asked. She smiled coyly and purred "If there's anything that I could do..."

"Actually, you like fish don't you? Could you eat this?" Kid asked. Blair was caught off guard. She made a mental note to not to hit on the striped haired friend of Maka anymore. Nevertheless, she caught the fish Kid threw at her in her mouth. Immediately, the cat spit it into one of her front paws.

"That taste terrible!" She exclaimed. "And it's so hard. I couldn't chew it up to eat it even if I wanted to."

"That's what I thought too," Kid said. "Too big to swallow but impossible to cut. I guess an elephant could eat it if they weren't herbivores."

"Why do you want it eaten?" the curious cat asked.

"It betrayed me," Kid mumbled vaguely.

"Oookay then," Blair said. She turned into a human and strolled beside Kid. Since she had nothing better to do, she decided to follow Maka's friend until she got bored. "So where you headin'? You know, Chupa Cabra's having a sale, we should head there!"

"No, that won't do," Kid said, "It's inside the city. I don't have a particular place in mind, it just has to be outside of the city."

"Why?"

"He won't be able to follow me."

Blair's cat-like ears fell and she looked at the floor. "Oh," she said. Disappointed in how little Kid was telling her, she just followed in silence for a while. "Where'd you get the fish anyway?"

"Someone who despises me reached into the depths of his hatred and retrieved a device that is perfectly constructed to torture me and it just so happened to look like a fish," Kid said.

"Do you hate fish or something?" Blair asked.

"I'm indifferent, usually. There aren't any prominent fish witches, and besides this one they're fine enough."

Blair continued to try and start a conversation, but Kid responded with very vague answers. Eventually, they got to the edge of the city.

"Are you going to walk across this entire dessert?" the human-cat asked.

"Maybe, but maybe not," Kid answered. " you see that line in the sand?" he asked and pointed to the ground. As he said, the sand had a very slight groove that was easily missed. It curves in a perfect circle all around the cities edge. "As long I'm anywhere past that I'd be fine. I could be aimlessly roaming the Desert for days or weeks. Maybe along the way I'll find a good place to leave the fish so that he can't force Spirit to find me."

"Maka's dad? Can he talk to fish or something?"

"No, it has a tracking device in it."

Blair smiled. "I can take care of a silly tracking device," she purred. "Pum pum pumpkin!" She exclaimed. An orange poof appeared around the fish. "It shouldn't be trackable anymore."

"Thank you, Blair," Kid said.

From then on Kid walked in silence. Eventually, Blair got bored. She looked behind her to see how far away Death City was. The cat made a giant pumpkin for riding. "You sure you don't want to go to Chupa Cabra?" Blair asked as she jumped onto the floating fruit.

Kid shook his head in reply. Without another word, Blair flew into the distance as Kid kept walking forward.

After a while, Kid came across the giant sand crater that he and his weapons made when they first got the fish. It was more shallow than before, but still absurdly stared at it. He stepped into it, sliding down to the bottom. The reaper released the fish from his grasp and layed on the crater's bottom, watching the clouds float by.

* * *

"I found ya!" Patty exclaimed as she barged through the doors to the mirror room. She looked around to only see Lord Death and Spirit, so she shrugged. "Or maybe not."

Liz trudged after her sister out of breath. "Is he there?" she asked.

"Nope."

Liz groaned, then she glared at Lord Death. "This is all your fault."

"What is?" Lord Death asked.

"Kid's gone crazy because of your bad taste in fish!"

Lord death stared blankly at his son's weapon partner. Spirit looked at him. The two thought the same thing. They knew the facade wouldn't last long, so Lord Death could either come clean and hope Liz and Patty go along or continue to lie and make the sisters figure it out themselves.

"Bad taste in fish?" Lord Death asked.

Spirit sighed. 'Of course he goes with the second one.'

"Yes! I've lived with Kid for only a couple of years and I would have been able to tell that that slimy monster would make him really devastated, disgusted, angry, or something like that! You're his father for crying out loud! You of all people should be able to tell that he hates the fish!"

"Mm-hm. I see," the death god mumbled. "But have you ever thought that maybe I chose that fish for a reason?"

Liz's jaw dropped. "YOU KNEW KID HATED THAT STUPID THING THE WHOLE TIME!" She yelled.

Patty laughed. "Looks like you owe me five bucks sis!"

Liz glared at her but quickly moved her fiery eyes back to Lord Death. "HOW COULD YOU!"  
"There's no need to yell," Lord Death said. The proceeded to tell the twin pistols the whole plan he had with the fish.

"So it was supposed to make Kid less obsessive," Spirit finished.

The weapons exchanged looks. Kid did skip his daily symmetry check for the first time for months, and probably the first intentional time ever. Lord Death could see the look on the sister's faces. "Once he cares about symmetry at a normal level, we'll tell him, but until then-" he started.

"Yeah, I get it," Liz mumbled. "Don't tell Kid…"

Patty smiled. "That'll be easy, won't it sis? If we can't find Kid, we can't tell him anything!"

"I'll go find Kid," Spirit said. He went to the machine that locates the tracking device.

"You know he'll find out eventually, right?" Liz asked.

"Yes, Spirit won't stop telling me, but like I keep telling him, it's for the greater good."

"Greater good?" Patty asked, in a much harsher tone than usual. "He is your son. He's the greatest good you're ever gonna get."

An eerie silence wiped over the room as Lord Death stared at Patty. The grim reaper seemed to be genuinely thinking about Patty's words, but as a smile slowly crept across her face and she started laughing it was obvious she barely meant it.

Lord Death was about to say something, but Spirit beat him to it. "I can't find the fish," he said.

"WHAT?" Lord Death asked, "But that's impossible!"

Spirit looked as worried as Lord Death sounded. "I know!"

"What do you mean it's impossible?" Liz asked.

"Something really powerful would have to happen to through it out of range. Either Kid suddenly got power that he shouldn't get for another twenty years, or something else entirely is involved. Something non-human." Spirit explained.

Patty tilted her head as her sister turned white. "Something non-human?" Patty questioned, "Like a giraffe?"

"Or like a witch?" Liz asked. "He wanted to go to kishins and witches before, and we convinced him to go to Excalibur instead."

"That could be a problem…"

* * *

After about a half an hour of class without Kid and his weapons, Maka assumed they went home. She tried to focus on the notes, but that became especially hard as Spirit came running in. "Stein, we need you for something. It's urgent."

"What is it?" The professor asked his ex-weapon. His eyes were hidden by the glare of the glasses.

"Well," the death scythe make eye contact with his daughter for a second and moved closer to Stein. He talked quieter so she wouldn't have to get involved again.

Maka tried to hear them, but couldn't. Stein turned his heads towards the students, but he didn't look at anything in particular. The shine was gone, so Maka saw him close his eyes for longer than usual and open them wider. He smiled and looked back at the weird creature he was cutting apart. "Good luck with that Spirit."

"What! What kind of response is that! This is life or death! We could get fired!"

"He's fine, physically speaking, and isn't moving either. Mentally, though,"Stein's smile widened, "I'll need to dissect his brain before I could ever try fixing that."

Spirit was too worried about Kid that he hardly paid notice to Stein's insanity. "Can you at least tell me which direction he's in?" Stein pointed basically straight ahead of him.

Maka could tell that they were talking about Kid by what she heard. When Stein pointed, she glanced that way and looked for his soul herself. She gasped at what she saw.

"Why don't you take your daughter with you? She could show you where he is," Stein suggested.

"But I don't want to involve her in this."

Maka stood up. "Professor Stein, do I have permission to go with Spirit?"

Stein nodded, so Maka started coming down the stairs. Soul stood up but got immediately told that 'he only gave permission to Maka', so the scythe sat back down. "Not cool," he mumbled.

"I'll be back, Soul. Don't get into trouble," Maka told her weapon, then left the room, her dad close behind.

Stein continued his lesson as if nothing ever happened.

"Maka?" Liz questioned.

"Yeah, Stein was no help," Spirit said.

"What happened to Kid? His soul's a mess," Maka asked.

Patty started swirling her finger near her head. "He went craaaazy," She said.

Liz ignored her sister. "You've seen Kid's soul? Is he okay? Is he close?" She asked.

Maka nodded. "He's close, and professor said he's not hurt. I can take you to him." They all started walking towards the front doors of the school, but Spirit stopped them.

"Maka, you should go back to class. Kid isn't thinking straight right now, so just let your papa handle this, okay?"

Maka glared at him. "Wasn't he trying to kill you?"

"Arrest actually," Spirit mumbled.

"Well, if anyone shouldn't go, it should be you," Maka said.

"But Maka-"

"Don't worry Spirit, we know Kid well enough to protect Maka if anything goes wrong," Patty said with a smile.

"And Maka's right, you'd probably make it worse," Liz added.

After only a little more arguing, Spirit agreed to stay back at the school and the three girls headed off towards the desert. By the time they got to the crater, Kid hadn't moved at all. His eyes still stared at the now completely clear sky.

"Kid, what were you thinking?" Liz asked. "You had us worried. Why don't you just come out of the hole? Then we can go home and just learn to live with that stupid fish."

Maka was staring at the hole while Liz talked. "Wow… That's really deep. How'd that even get there?"

"That happened when we shot Mr. Shimmers a lot with death cannon. Only Kid can get out of it with Beelzebub, so it's probably better if we don't go down there," Patty said.

The scythe meister nodded. On the way over, the sisters told her some of the background around the fish and all of the things Kid did in desperation. Although, the emotions emitting off of his soul didn't completely make sense with the story that Maka got.

"Come on Kid," Liz said, "It's really hot out here. And then the sun's going to set and it'll become really cold." The young grim reaper still didn't respond in any way.

Patty shrugged. "I guess he doesn't wanna come out."

The elder sister sighed. "But staying there would only make it worse for him. He's probably already lost in his own delusions. Got any ideas?"

Patty thought for a second. "No, not really."

"Alright then," Liz mumbled. She looked back at her meister. "Hey, Kid, didn't you leave the house early today so your dad would be happy with you? What do you think he would say if he could come out here?"

This finally got a reaction out of him. He sat up straight, putting his hands in the sand behind him. The golden eyes that were watching the sky moved onto the two weapons. Kid still didn't say anything though, he just stared.

Maka could feel only a subtle change in Kid's soul, but it was enough for her to guess what happened. "Oh," she said, "I know what to do." She sat on the sand with her feet hanging over the edge of the crater. "Wish me luck," Maka said. She pushed herself and slid down to the bottom with Kid.

"Good luck!" Patty called while her friend glided down. Liz didn't say anything, but instead, she watched with intrigue.

When the scythe meister eventually got to the bottom she stood up and dusted off her skirt. Kid didn't pay any attention to her, even when she sat down next to him. With her eyes closed, she concentrated on the souls around her. It's a similar trick to what she did to Crona back when the Kishin was still under the DWMA. It seemed so long since she's floated in the thick, viscous air.

A bright blue soul appeared before her. 'That's my soul,' she thought. 'It's grown.'

Another soul caught Maka's eye. Two actually, and they both seemed really far away. 'That must be Liz and Patty's.' The young meister started looking around again. 'Now where's Kid's soul?' she asked herself.

Two more souls appeared, much closer to her this time. One was a very dull blue and tiny. Its tail wiggled around frantically, as if it was either very excited or scared. The next one was slightly darker than the normal shade of a human soul. It was larger too. Maka moved up to the second soul, dismissing the first one as the fishes. She embraced the familiar soul and felt something that she couldn't describe.

She opened her eyes, but she wasn't in the hole anymore. Instead, it was a big room with all four of its bright white walls the exact same length. In each of the four corners were pillars, each with a vase perched on top. In the middle of the room was a black and white throne and another pillar with a vase only a couple feet in front of it. Other than that, it looked empty. Maka looked behind her to see a large double door.

"Sorry," Maka heard Kid say. It startled her a little bit. She turned back around and Kid was sitting on the throne. "I wasn't expecting company." Kid stood up and started walking around the middle pillar. "But when does anything ever really go as expected?"

"What is this place?" Maka asked.

Kid ignored her and walked to the pillar on Maka's right. He picked up the vase and stared at it. "I never bought this, but here it is. How unexpected." It really was a beautiful vase, they all were. With bounds of detail on each one, they looked very unique and fancy. "I grew to love this vase. Always in the corner, never bothering to change. It was nice." He threw it on the floor, shattering it. "But then one day it lost its appeal. Now, isn't that unexpected."

"That looked expensive," Maka said.

"It doesn't matter," Kid said. He walked to the vase on the other side of Maka. "But what does matter is balance." He pushed that vase off, breaking it. "You can't just lose one and not the other." Maka watched as he went to the last two in the corners and broke them too. "Vertical balance is important too."

Only one vase was left: the one in the middle. Maka walked up to it. It was by far the fanciest with diligently carved black curves loomed on top of a marble-like base. Kid joined the other meister in looking at it.

They both stared in silence until Kid grabbed it. "Wait," Maka said. Kid did and he looked at his friend. "Don't break it."

"Why shouldn't I? Yeah, it _was_ nice, but I don't need it anymore. The other four were the only things keeping it here."

Big green eyes looked sympathetically into golden ones. Kid turned his gaze onto the vase. "I've done this too. The breaking felt great as I did it, but it left all this glass everywhere. I thought it would be fine since I had more vases across the hall, but they went away. I had to make my own vases, but they were never as good as those ones I broke. You can still keep your original." Maka took the item from the reaper's unreluctant hands and put it back onto its place. "Originals are always the best. They're the ones that have been there the whole time." Maka smiled. "Trust me."

Kid looked back up at her. "You're right," he mumbled.

The large doors behind Maka opened wide and let in a giant wind. She turned to face it, but the next thing she knew, she was in the desert again, still in the hole. A pale hand was extended out to her as the wind continued to blow through the wheels of an unforgettable skateboard. "There's not much room if two people are on it, but it'll work," Kid said. He smiled at her.

She returned the look. His soul was normal again. Maka took his hand and hopped onto the floating skateboard.

It wasn't long until the four of them were all heading back to Death City.

"Impressive," Liz said as they walked. "Well, now we know who to call if Kid goes bonkers again."

Patty skipped beside them. "It was pretty boring to watch, but I liked the ending," She said. She ruffled with her meister's hair playfully, which he then immediately fixed.

"Sorry you got dragged into this, Maka, but thank you for helping," Kid said.

Maka put her hands behind her back. "Don't mention it. And happy late birthday! Maybe next year we can actually give you something you like."

"If it's all the same to you, I'd prefer to just pretend that I don't have a birthday. I wasn't actually born after all."

Maka nodded. "It's your choice."

* * *

"Kid, I was so worried about you! What happened?" Lord Death asked as he hugged his son. He was too relieved that Kid was back to notice the glare he was giving. "And what did you do with the fish?"

Kid got out of his father's clutch and handed back the fish. "I had Blair get rid of it," he answered. "By the way, I know everything. You can tell Spirit that he's not under arrest anymore."

Even through the mask, Kid knew his dad's face fell. "Oh," he said, "I was only trying to help you Kiddo."

"I know," Kid said.

"Sorry about your gift, but I'm really proud of your improvement! You're going to be a great Shinigami Kiddo."

A slight smile spread across Kid's face as he turned around. "Thank you, and I forgive you. Now if you excuse me, I have some vases to make."

 **A/N: I'd love your thoughts on this chapter and the story as a whole. Sorry it took so long, but the story's now finished. I hope you liked it.**


End file.
